What is the best season to jump on a trampoline?
A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands at the pavement, yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!”
Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”
What is the strongest creature in the world? The snail. It carries its whole house on its back.
Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy?
Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.
Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.
Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”
Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”
Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says “School ahead, go slowly!”
Four elephants go for a walk on a stormy day. They only have one umbrella between them. How come they none of them get wet?
Well did anybody say it was raining?
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
He didn’t count with this…
Where do pencils spend their vacations?
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
A child comes home dripping wet.
Mother: What on earth were you doing?!
Kid: We were playing dog with my friends and I was the tree.
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: It wanted to go to the mooovies.
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”